Dreaming of Home Nikki

Nikki and Tomislav in Gdansk, Poland

And for our Valentine's Day special -  interview with Nikki Kaminski, expat blogger on her love quest in Zagreb. She’s a refreshingly sincere blogger who seems to enjoy each moment of her life. It’s the kind of life that leads you across the oceans to be with your beloved one. But, there’s more to this story than (just) a romance. She shared many interesting thoughts and stories, including how blogging can take you to a reality show and what’s it like to be an expat in Croatia. But most importantly, it wouldn’t be a Valentine’s special if it wasn’t for a love story that’s growing into a story of her life and taking place right here in Zagreb. Zagreb, time to welcome Nikki! 

BLOG

Secret Zagreb Walks: What I like most about your blog is the incredible amount of honesty you emit. You’re almost welcoming your readers into your life. What made you start blogging in the first place?

Nikki: I first began blogging while I was on a student exchange program in Germany in 2004-2005 (aptly titled Nikki’s in Germany). I tried to continue blogging while I traveled to different countries, but never really could get into it. When I decided to move to Zagreb, my sister really encouraged me to start blogging about my life here. I’m so happy she supported me so much because blogging has become so fun for me and I love having so many memories (and favorite meals!) written down.


Why do you keep doing it? What has changed over the years in your approach to blogging?

Blogging has really grown on me; it was hard to stick with it at first when I was blogging. Especially while I was traveling so much, it was hard to find time to sit and write (although I wish I had done it more so I can remember what I was thinking back then!). Now that I live here in Zagreb and have gotten into a routine with my life, it’s a lot easier and a lot more fun! My favorite thing is when Tomislav makes a remark after dinner, “That one was amazing – it should go on your blog!” or my friends mention, “This is so fun! Something for your blog!”

I’ve definitely appreciated all the feedback I’ve been getting recently about my blog. I just want others to know what life is like for an American (Polish-American!) in Eastern Europe.

Thanks to your blog, producers of House Hunters International noticed you and invited you to the show. I loved the fact you participated.  How did the shooting go?

When I read the comment from the producer for House Hunters International, I was so excited. I mean, seriously-jumping-around-squealing like crazy- excited! I absolutely love the show and reading something from the producer really felt like a dream come true because I thought that our situation really seemed perfect for the show. We had such an amazing time shooting. It was so much fun for my whole family, since we filmed at home in the States, as well as in Zagreb. It’s a memory we’ll have forever!

Here is a sneak peak behind-the-scenes from filming:

You say that you were already a fan of a show. What are your favorite episodes?

I love watching the episodes where someone is moving to Europe but I especially love when the couple featured is on a budget, just because I can relate more to them than I can the people looking for a 2 Million Euro flat!

When can we see your story?

It will air sometime in the Spring, the producers mentioned possibly in May. We’ll definitely keep everyone posted!

EXPAT LIFE IN ZAGREB

Introducing Tomislav to baseball and tailgating back in 2008

Where are you from?

I was born in the U.S.A. but my parents are originally from Poland and moved to the States before I was born. We visited the rest of my family in Poland while I was growing up, as often as we could. I spent my entire childhood in Northeast Pennsylvania and moved to Philadelphia when I was 17 for college.  I lived in Philly until I moved to Zagreb.

What’s your favorite memory created in Zagreb?

I have a lot of great memories here already but the two that really stick out are my birthday, and the time we met an older woman at the antique market on Britanski Trg. Last year, I arrived back to Zagreb just before my birthday and Tomislav wanted to make it really special. The whole day was amazing, he got us tickets for Champion’s League games and made the entire day and night so romantic for me. I wrote about it here: 

How to Romance a Girl on her Birthday (It was actually my first blog post!).

Not long after, we had one of the loveliest Sundays ever when we decided to visit the antique market. We saw so many beautiful things but we were trying to save money so we were just looking, not buying. We ended up meeting this amazing woman who truly made me see the goodness of Croatian people. She had so many kind words for us and advice for us as a soon-to-be-married couple. We had expressed to her how beautiful we found one of the paintings she had and at the end of our conversation, she gave us the painting as an early wedding present! It was incredible how generous she was and it really made our day! (See: Blue Haired, Blue Eyed Older Woman at the Market)

How does your family feel about your life here?

Thankfully, my family loves Tomislav so much. He has really become a part of our family so they support me being here with him. I know they miss us a lot, and I miss them like crazy. I’m just so excited for them to come visit us in Croatia this summer! 

What do you miss most, besides your family and friends? Maybe some daily routines, tastes…

Oh my, there are so many things I miss! Besides my friends and fam, I mostly miss food the most. Philadelphia is such a great foodie city. There is an amazing Vietnamese neighbourhood that has the best Pho ever (Vietnamese soup). A lot of people don’t know that Philly is a very vegetarian friendly city and I absolutely love the vegetarian cheesesteaks at this place called Govinda’s. It’s the perfect (healthy) take-out. Speaking of take-out, I cannot forget to mention my love for Thai food. It is so addictive! I love it so much.

Do you identify yourself as an expat? What meaning does the word bear for you?

I do think of myself as an expat. I’m not one to label things specifically as this or that but for me, an expat is someone of one nationality who chooses to live in a foreign country.

Is there such thing as an expat community in Zagreb or Croatia? Does it help to get in touch with others in similar situation? How do you get in touch with each other anyway?

In the beginning, it was really hard for me to meet people and make new friends, especially with Croatian people, just because Croats are a bit more reserved than Americans. I thought I could just strike up a conversation with someone, even the waiter at the coffee shop, just to have someone to talk to but people found me too friendly and sometimes even thought I was hitting on them! I was really hoping to make some friends of my own and so I turned to CouchSurfing to find other international people in Zagreb and luckily made a great friend through it and met some others!

I also participate on the website expat-blog.com  where a few expats and soon-to-be expats communicate about what it’s really like to live in Zagreb, look for a job, and things like that.

I noticed that many expats are in fact working for companies outside Croatia. What are your work possibilities here?

A lot of times, it’s easier for expats to get a job with an international company, mostly because of their language skills and it also makes it easier to get a visa through an international company. I feel very lucky to have a job here because I came without one and was job hunting for about 6 months. I’m a German teacher from the States so I went on many interviews at language schools for English and German teaching jobs and was surprised how often I was rejected for not knowing Croatian well enough. I’m so thankful to work at the American International School in Zagreb now. It’s a great opportunity for me and I love the school!

Does Zagreb feel like home now? Which situations still make you feel like a stranger?

Home will always be Pennsylvania to me because that’s where I spent most of my life growing up but I do really like Zagreb. I love being in the city and I think Tomislav and I have really made our apartment feel “homey.” It helped to bring some knick knacks from home and have pictures of my family around! There are some things that still get me though. I’m getting more used to it, but people pushing into the tram and people cutting lines in general. I’m used to standing in a line and waiting my turn and I can’t tell you how many times people just go right in front of me. It makes me so mad! Tomislav laughs when I tell him about how we used to get in trouble in school when we cut the line, but it’s true! Also, when I’m at the grocery store and I’m looking for hummus. I know it’s not a common food in Croatia but I still wanted to check at every supermarket whether they have any and people always look at me like a freak when I try to explain what it is. (Zna te, to je slanutak, ali kao krem?! My Hrvatski, as you can see, is not that great yet!) I also feel like a stranger any time I visit Mup (Ministry of Internal Affairs), but I guess that’s a given!

Early days 2008 - in Pennsylvania, we visited an amusement park for the day!

 Do you ever feel lonely in a country so far away from your home town?

Oh yes, I definitely get bouts of loneliness and homesickness. It’s funny how it hits you at the most random times though! Sometimes after a nice visit at Tomislav’s parents house, I get lonely afterwards because it makes me miss my own family but for the most part, I’m really happy here.

T-SLAV

The reason you’re here is your romance with Tomislav.  How and where did you two meet?

Tomislav and I met in the early summer of 2008. He went on a work and travel program to the U.S.A. and got a job at the restaurant I was working at. I was so excited to hear that my manager hired a new guy and when I heard he was from Croatia, I knew I would like him already! Because my family is originally from Poland, I felt an Eastern European connection to him. I only knew how to say one thing in Croatian (because a friend of mine dates a Croatian girl) and because of how crazy I am, it was the first thing I ever said to Tomislav. “Volim te!” He started replying in Croatian to me and I was like, “No, no, that’s the only thing I know! I’m not Croatian, I’m actually Polish.” It truly was love at first sight. Right away, we both felt it. It was amazing. That night, I called my Mom and told her that I loved “the Croatian.” True story :)

Tomislav visited me in Philadelphia and we went back to the restaurant where we both worked and where it all started! (March 2010)

It all just seems so ideal, judging from your writings. There must have been some downs in between all that ups:) What has been the hardest part of your relationship so far?

Oh my goodness, there were so many downs. It’s too bad I wasn’t blogging during the first couple of years of our relationships, but maybe it’s better that way because that was a really depressing time! After his work and travel program ended (it only lasted 5 months), he had to go back to Croatia. I was so scared of what would happen because I knew that I had really fallen for him. We talked about a future between us and both agreed that we didn’t want it to end. So, I bought a plane ticket to visit him for New Year’s Eve in Zagreb before he even left the States. After that trip, we didn’t see each other for 5 months. I went on a study abroad program to Egypt, so the smaller time difference definitely made it easier for us to communicate but over the next two years, we were apart much longer than we were together.

Christmas, 2010 together, engaged, in the States

Our relationship was very expensive, because of plane tickets, visas (for him), and lots of text messages and (snail) mail that we would send each other. Luckily, Tomislav was working already and I was still in college and then graduate school, so I had vacation time that I could come visit him in Zagreb. It was a really difficult thing to be in such a long distance relationship. Even if we were having a lot of fun doing something, we were constantly wishing the other person could be there to experience it too.  But we knew that we loved each other and we wanted to be together, so that made it easier to wait out those long months apart. It was worth it, for us.

What made you certain Tomislav was the one and inspired you to cross the ocean for him?

This might be corny, but I don’t care. I felt it in my heart right away when we met that he was someone very special. He’s so different from any other man I know and he really is the perfect one for me. Because of my Polish background, I grew up with a very European way of thinking. My parents raised our family Catholic so that was always important to me, to find someone also religious. He was so kind and generous and I kind of loved the way that because he wasn’t American, things didn’t have to be the standard American way. At first when we started dating, I would be thinking about whether I was texting him too much or things like that. Then I’d remember, he’s Croatian! He probably doesn’t think the same way that American guys do! It was so refreshing to hear him be so honest about his feelings for me. His passion for music, travel, and adventure really won me over. Not to mention, his tall, dark, and gorgeous looks! Wow, what a great bonus!

Zagreb in the summertime! 2009

How did you two decide to settle down in Croatia?

I really never imagined we would settle down in Zagreb. As much as I liked visiting Croatia, I really wanted to live in the States. I had a job, an apartment, and my whole life was there. We tried to find a job for Tomislav in the States and it wasn’t working out so great. We decided to file for a visa for him to come to the U.S.A. and it was taking forever to get the decision on the visa. During this wait time, Tomislav ended up getting offered a great promotion with his company. He ended up accepting the promotion and loving his new position. We finally got the visa news but he was really into his new job so I reconsidered. I was graduating from grad school and my apartment lease was ending so it seemed like the right time to come to Croatia. I came for 3 months last summer and after a short trip back home, I finally came at the end of September and settled in to my life in Zagreb.

Did your families have a chance to meet yet? How do you two get along with each other’s families, any problems in communication or customs?

Our families haven’t had the chance to meet in real life yet, only via Skype and over the phone. It’s hard for them to communicate though, since Tomislav’s parents only speak Croatian. His family is trying to learn some English now before our wedding since my family and friends will be coming from the States and Poland. My parents have learned a few Croatian words and use a mix of Polish and Russian when they’re trying to speak Croatian. I think they’ll be able to understand one another though! Tomislav’s Mom reminds me of my Mom so I think they will get along really well. Croatian and Polish cultures are actually rather similar so that’s great!

Tomislav embraced my Polish culture and we've been to Poland several times together. Here we are with my Grandparents (Summer 2009)

How does T-slav feel about your blogging so openly? Some guys can be sensitive or insecure about their romantic side:)

Tomislav is such a great person and he’s so supportive of me and everything I do. He wants me to feel comfortable in Zagreb and he loves that I’ve found an outlet in my blog. He is really proud of me and always tells me how much he likes my blog posts. He promotes my blog to his friends and colleagues and I’ve gotten so much positive feedback from them. They’re Croatian so a lot of times they really like reading my point of view on Croatian things.

Is Zagreb (and Croatia) romantic? Are there any spots here that can inspire romance?

My first time in Zagreb - saw this on Tkalciceva (I swear we didn't do it!) Jan 2009

 
Oh yes, I think Zagreb is a beautiful, romantic, and very European city. Zrinjevac park at night is so lovely and you can’t help but feel romantic walking around that area with the gazebo. The Upper Town is also very charming. The seaside is absolutely gorgeous, seeing the waves with mountains in the background is just breathtaking. I don’t think you could ever get tired of the Croatian seaside, there is so much beauty to see!

You’re in the middle of planning your wedding. How do you imagine your future together?

Tomislav and I both know how difficult it is to plan things, since we planned so much in the last couple of years that didn’t work out so we like to live in the moment as much as possible. Immediately after our wedding, we’ll be traveling with our families to the seaside. I can imagine a lot more traveling in our future and hopefully someday we’ll start a family (and be back in the States!).

At my first Croatian (actually Slavonian!) wedding last fall (October, 2011)

What does Valentine’s Day mean to you? Is there a significant difference in the way Croatians and Americans celebrate it?

This will actually be our first Valentine’s Day together so I’m very excited to finally spend it with my love! I sent Valentine’s Day cards to a bunch of my friends in the States; I don’t think that’s so common in Croatia, but I think it’s so nice to do that. It reminds people that you’re thinking about them.

What’s your favorite Valentine’s date so far?

Last year was a pretty nice one for me, even though we were apart! My best friend made dinner for the two of us and then Tomislav and I Skyped. We both had a glass of wine and “cheers-ed” over the computer!

What are your plans for this V-day? 

You’ll have to ask Tomislav that one! He has planned a surprise evening for us, so I’m really looking forward to Valentine’s Day!

This is from the night we got engaged! Literally right after it happened, we asked a couple passing by to take our picture. We were so excited, we told them! (December 2010)